“What is past is prologue.” – Inscription at Washington DC museum.
So here I am… another day. For you. For me. For us both. The “holidays” are here and soon the new year will be among us. The sooner the better for all of us inside these walls, the faster time goes for us the happier we are. It’s odd if you think about it, most people want more time in a day, but we want less… hmmmm.
Thanksgiving here was a day just like all the others, the only difference was they served dinner at around noon and then locked us down at 3pm to have a pot-luck for the guards (your tax money hard at work, paying guards triple time to throw a pot-luck.). We got some mashed potatoes, processed turkey-ham, a scoop of yams and a bread roll. For desert we had some surgar-free grape kool-aid. It wasn’t much if you’re used to having big meals on Thanksgiving, but the truth is that it was a lot more than other people get out there. A lot of guys in here complain about us not having some massive meal, but I can’t do it. I’ve personally spent too many Thanksgivings alone, and had more than a few hungry ones. So if you’re curious if I had an alright thanks giving, the answer is it wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t the best by any means, but it was a lot better than some I’ve had before and for that I’m grateful. And looking to next year’s Thanksgiving, I can already see myself being in a good mood, because I’ll know that I’m that much closer to going home. That much closer to spending the holidays where I choose, that much closer to being out there with you.
In other news, I’m holding up alright… I have my good days and bad days. We’re so cut off that at times it’s a real struggle. Mail is by far the most looked forward to thing in here. And when someone in here is hoping for a letter from a loved one, and it never comes it is tough. I see it far too often in my friends eyes, the sadness and loneliness that you can’t help but wear on your sleeve when day after day, week after week you hope for a letter that never comes. Not only have I seen it on my friends faces, but I’ve seen it on my own sometimes when I look in the mirror. It really makes you think and thinking can sometimes be the worst part. When you are lying in bed and ya can’t get to sleep and your demons take over, sometimes you just don’t want to think. Some days you just wanna crawl into a hole and shut off the world.
Those are the hardest times, those are the moonless nights. So I gotta constantly remind myself that it’s on the darkest nights that the stars shine the brightest and it is always the darkest right before the sunbegins to rise… before a new day begins.
So from this darkest of nights I say to you, hold on till morning, and until then KEEP ON RICH ROLLIN.
From a stargazer – DART
Song for this diary:
Title: WE ALL WANT LOVE
Write to me:
Daniel Dart Richert #AL2076
C.M.C. West Prison
P.O. Box 8103
San Luis Obispo, CA 93403