“I’ve always been a word man. Better than a birdman.” - Jim Morrison
Today is day 12 on C.T.Q. (confirmed to quarter), A.K.A. Orientation Row, A.K.A fish row. 24 hours in the cell. No movement… none…nada…zip…zilch.
Wait for commitee, where a prison official will then tell us where they plan to house me, or ship me, one can never really know what can happen on any given day. Ain’t make no sense to let yourself get comfortable, ya got to stay on your toes, ya gotta stay on point, prepared for anything, like a boyscout. Rumor has it that this prison is just gonna be a layover until bunks open at other facilities but I never know anymore and to be quite frank, I don’t care. I’ll go wherever they send me and I’ll make the best out of it. Even this stop on C.T.Q. hasn’t been too bad. Of course there are some hard hours where a person feels trapped, but there are times like that for everyone everywhere. Hard time isn’t just reserved for us here in prison. For instance, I’d rather be in a cell with the homie ‘Realize" laughing and talking shit than be on the streets in some toxic fucked up abusive relationship. I know what I’m dealing with and I will overcome it. Think of all those that won’t? This prison life is only a tear drop in the ocean of my life, on the overall scale it ain’t shit and it don’t define me, it just helps to refine me. Cuz when I get out and start making records again and succeeding and then use that to set an example to people, that if you fall down it don’t mean you have to stay down, how great is that gonna be? Who knows, maybe I can inspire people to do a little better and try a little harder.
Thats a little peek into my mind here in this concrete cell.
My thoughts are happy, they are full of hope. I live in an environment jam packed with anger, hate, loss and despair. I want nothing to do with it. I can’t control what I eat or where I am or where I go. I’m in a cell and stuck here for the time being and i can’t control that. I can’t control what anyone else thinks or feels, but I can control how I think and how I feel. I choose to believe in hope. Hope that the best days of my life are yet to come. I like to look at life like it is a basketball game. Some days or even years you are winning, making every single shot you take. Then some days you miss every shot you take and you go down 20 points. No matter what you do, nothing seems to work for you. But the thing is that at the end of the day non of that matters because even if you’ve been behind the whole entire game, if you make that last second shot to take the lead then nothing else matters. No one cares who leads the game at halftime because at halftime the game is far from over. Just like my life. The days I spend in this cell are just seconds in a much bigger story, just like the moments you take to read these words. We are both just gathering more paint to use on the canvas that is our life. Sometimes the paintings that are most beautiful are created out of chaos. Sometimes you have to step back from a painting and look at the whole thing from a distance to truly realize how beautiful it really is.
So to all my fellow painters, have fun, enjoy yourself and until next time, KEEP ON RICH ROLLIN!
From just a finger painter, DART
Song for this diary
Song: Day N. Nite